So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
