Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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