plz talk dirty to me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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