we have officially lost it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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