Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't think brook has ever known best
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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