you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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