For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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