So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
