ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
