I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
