Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Randomize
