Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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