Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
