the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
