Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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