I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
They took my balls.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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