No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
