Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
