nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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