What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
