when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
