I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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