By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
