i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
