Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
