also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
