Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize