Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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