did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
