Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
