I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
