We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize