The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
