He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
