Cold hands, warm shart.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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