umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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