his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
