Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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