Got a toothbrush?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
