i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
