i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
