He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so explain again why im purple
no
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
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