Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
