But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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