Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
