she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
