i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
