i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i came on her dog
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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