The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
