I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize