Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
