You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize