dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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