I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
