im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
