woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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