Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
