theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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