This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
