i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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