I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
