so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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