8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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