just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
