there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
